So why start this blog?
It’s something I’ve thought about doing for the longest time, but now that everyone can do it, there’s no excuse really not to. I’m the first to admit that I can be opinionated, offering ideas how the world should be and pointing out the many absurdities of life. With this in mind, I should really have run for mayor (watch out Boris Johnson!) or do stand-up comedy.
Anyway, what to call this blog. Taking a cue from collective nouns such as ‘an eloquence of lawyers’ or ‘a wisdom of owls’, I was thinking of using for this blog ‘A Plethora of Pedantries’ or ‘A Bevy of B*ll*cks’? Maybe not.
Until I can think up something wittier, I’m sticking with the Cockney phrase "Talking Jacksons" – as in “This modern art’s a load of old Jacksons” – Jackson Pollack/B*ll*cks (though knowing my luck, people will think it’s a fan site for the Jackson 5). While I will talk about movies and music, I’ll chat about anything and everything – whatever comes to mind.
What would be a suitable collective noun for a group of politicians? Here’s a few suggestions from the Web: 1) an incompetence 2) an ineptitude, or how about 3) a deceit?
Anybody with any witty suggestions for collective nouns, feel free to send them to me and I’ll include them during the next update.
It’s something I’ve thought about doing for the longest time, but now that everyone can do it, there’s no excuse really not to. I’m the first to admit that I can be opinionated, offering ideas how the world should be and pointing out the many absurdities of life. With this in mind, I should really have run for mayor (watch out Boris Johnson!) or do stand-up comedy.
Anyway, what to call this blog. Taking a cue from collective nouns such as ‘an eloquence of lawyers’ or ‘a wisdom of owls’, I was thinking of using for this blog ‘A Plethora of Pedantries’ or ‘A Bevy of B*ll*cks’? Maybe not.
Until I can think up something wittier, I’m sticking with the Cockney phrase "Talking Jacksons" – as in “This modern art’s a load of old Jacksons” – Jackson Pollack/B*ll*cks (though knowing my luck, people will think it’s a fan site for the Jackson 5). While I will talk about movies and music, I’ll chat about anything and everything – whatever comes to mind.
What would be a suitable collective noun for a group of politicians? Here’s a few suggestions from the Web: 1) an incompetence 2) an ineptitude, or how about 3) a deceit?
Anybody with any witty suggestions for collective nouns, feel free to send them to me and I’ll include them during the next update.
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London – The Centre of TV-Land
Looking back at classic TV programmes of the past, it struck me years ago how so many are set in some part of London. Having lived in the Big Smoke for the past 14 years, I can appreciate all the London-based references and places in sitcoms. Here are just a few of them:
Black Books – Bloomsbury, Bless This House – Putney, Bottom – Hammersmith, Citizen Smith – Tooting, Drop The Dead Donkey, EastEnders, The Good Life - Surbiton (suburb), Grange Hill - East London (up until 2003), Minder, Only Fools and Horses – Peckham, Some Mothers Do 'Ave ‘Em, Spaced – Tufnell Park, Steptoe and Son – Shepherd’s Bush, The Sweeney, This Life - South London.
So why are so many programmes based in London?
Partly because so many production companies are based in the capital and partly because London is so big, each area is pretty much a village in its own right – just how they were before they were swallowed up by the burgeoning metropolis. Of course, it’s not just the UK media that views London with disproportionate importance to the rest of Britain. In early October, there was an article in the Metro that showed what a map of the UK would look like if it was based solely on areas of high population density and their familiarty overseas. Surprise, surprise, Greater London practically leaps out at you.
However London’s importance in the national psyche is not just isolated to television programmes. Here are a few songs written about London: Baker Street by Gerry Rafferty, Bar Italia by Pulp, Camden Town by Suggs, Carnaby Street by The Jam, Common People by Pulp, Cool For Cats by Squeeze, Guns of Brixton by The Clash, I Don’t Want to Go to Chelsea by Elvis Costello, London by Tina Dico, London Bridge by Bread, London Calling by The Clash, London Loves by Blur, Mile End by Pulp, Mill Hill Self Hate Club by Edward Ball, The Only Living Boy in New Cross by Carter USM, Pi**ed Up in SE1 by Aphex Twin, Streets of London by Ralph McTell, Ullo John! Gotta New Motor? by Alexei Sayle (the Thames Barrier, Bermondsey, Peckham, etc), Up The Junction by Squeeze, Warwick Avenue by Duffy, Waterloo Sunset by The Kinks, Werewolves of London by Warren Zevon , West End Girls by Pet Shop Boys, What a Waste by Ian Dury, White City by The Pogues, (White Man) in Hammersmith Palais by The Clash.
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Bristol
Many TV programmes have, however, been filmed in Bristol. So much so, that it often stands in for London. The most famous example is the early '80s sitcom The Young Ones, but not many people know that much of Only Fools and Horses was filmed in Bristol, especially after the exteriors shots of Nelson Mandela house were filmed in Duckmoor Road, Ashton from 1988 onwards, instead of Acton.
When I studied at Bristol, the booklets given to freshers by the Student Union said that Bristol had a very laid back vibe (which it did in the early 1990s) what with artists such as Portishead, Massive Attack and Tricky hailing from there. There was a time you couldn’t watch a British TV programme without some ambient trip-hop track from Bristol playing in the background. This is something worth discussing at a later date: where is the musical capital of Britain?
For those of you who are curious and want to make their own Young Ones pilgrimage, here are the Bristol locations that appeared in the show:
i) Young Ones’ home (second episode onwards): 25 Broadway Road, Bishopston, Bristol.
ii) The Kebab & Calculator (from ‘Boring’) is the Cock O' the North (now recently renamed Westbury Park Tavern) pub in Henleaze. The zebra crossing they cross on the way there is in Coldharbour Road.
iii) Temple Meads railway station - the lads cause mayhem there in ‘Bambi’.
Footlights College (from ‘Bambi’) is Ashton Court Mansion.
iv) The Police Station and Army careers office in ‘Cash’ are on Gloucester Road, Bishopston, as are the launderette in ‘Bambi’ and the Fascist Pig Bank in ‘Summer Holiday’.
Over the past 10 years, filming in Bristol has undergone something of a renaissance. In 2002, Channel 4 filmed in Bristol the comedy/drama Teachers, which made much of the city’s many interesting and picturesque locations. I have to admit, whenever I watch an episode of Teachers, I get nostalgic and immediately want to visit, if not, live there again. (By the way, if you want to know where the Plumbers Arms is – the pub all the teachers go to in the programme – it’s really a pub in the Bedminster area called the Engineers Arms!)
Bristol doesn’t have the same nightlife as London – where else in the UK does? – but for a city a third of the size of the capital, it is very much a condensed version of London with its picturesque views by the River Avon, and many pubs and restaurants. The downside – it does rain a lot there, just as it does in towns in Wales and western England, and buses stop running around 11pm (at least that was the case years ago). However, because Bristol is only about 4 miles in radius, you could conceivably walk home from a night out, (which as a frugally-minded student, I did on a semi-regular basis!).
Notable Films and Programmes Filmed in Bristol
Starter for 10 – a movie set in Bristol during the mid-1980s made use of the Clifton area, Bristol University, Royal York Crescent, Redcliffe Wharf and Christmas Steps and on BBC3.
Being Human was broadcast originally on BBC3 – a drama about a vampire, a werewolf and a ghost sharing a house in Bedminster.
BBC Bristol – More than 25% of the world’s natural history films are made in Bristol, with the majority of these being produced at the BBC’s acclaimed Natural History Unit.
Aardman Animations – Wallace and Gromit, Creature Comforts, etc were all made by the Oscar award-winning Aardman Animations in Bristol. Creature Comforts was inspired by Nick Park’s visits to Bristol Zoo Gardens and features voices of local Bristolians.
Deal or No Deal – Quiz show filmed in Bristol at Endemol West’s studios, where many other shows such as Channel 5’s Brainteaser are also filmed.
Skins – E4’s drama from the makers of Shameless follows the story of a group of Bristol teenagers, filmed at locations throughout the city.
Animal Magic – This popular children’s TV programme, filmed at Bristol Zoo Gardens, ran for a total of 21 years, eventually ending in 1984.
House of Elliott – Filmed in Berkeley Square, just off Park Street.
Casualty (1986-2009) – BBC's prime time Saturday night TV series was filmed in Bristol for more than 20 years. Casualty was filmed in an old warehouse in St Phillips and at outdoor locations around the city.
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X-marks the spot – Oxford Circus
Recently a new X-shaped crossing was opened at Oxford Circus. Anyone who’s had to try to cross the roads there during the weekend or at Christmas time knows how the barriers there previously made an impossible job even harder. Having used it a couple of weeks ago, I can confirm it really makes a difference when visiting the area. It’s been reported that the cost for the crossing of the area amounted to £5 million! The mind boggles. Allegedly Boris Johnson based the Oxford Circus crossing from the Shibuya crossing in Tokyo. However, if he was more clued-up about London as a whole (as opposed to his preoccupation with West London) he would know that one was built in Balham back in 2005 for a fraction of the price (less than £100,000). How much do you reckon it costs to remove iron railings from the pavement and to build a diagonal crossing?
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Carry On...
Recently I’ve been going through a phase of watching the old black & white and colour movies I watched on TV as a kid – specifically the Ealing comedies and Carry On movies (VERY much a London thing – for the most part filmed in Pinewood and the Home Counties). I remember somebody at work used to laugh like Sid James and someone else would mimic Kenneth Williams, saying “Nooooo, Matron,” and “Infamy, infamy, they’ve all got it in for me!”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kvs4bOMv5Xw
The Carry On team also had awful/brilliant puns (depending on your point of view) for names such as Bungdit Din, The Khasi of Kalbar and the Fakir (“Fakir, off!”). I’m also particularly fond of the phrases used by Ealing stars Terry Thomas – “Good show!” and Leslie Phillips – “Ding Dong!”
Below is a link to the very first time the indomitable Mr. Phillips uttered his immortal phrase!:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TSeoR4lH1-8
The thing about the Carry On cast is that like so many comedians, their private lives were anything but a barrel of laughs. Sometimes their lives were downright tragic, so watching their movies now takes on a tragic dimension. Knowing some of the sad things that the cast went through makes me appreciate how much effort they put into these films and the pleasure they still give me many years later.
JOAN SIMS
Back in 1958, Joan Sims was cohabiting with fellow actor Tony Baird. However, after Sims told her parents about living with her partner, they sent her a stern letter, as cohabiting was socially frowned upon at that time. Sims being the dutiful daughter left Baird, but she sadly never found anyone that special in her life again. At one point, Kenneth Williams – a gay man at a time when homosexuality was illegal – offered to marry Sims in a marriage of convenience for both of them. She flatly refused.
Back in 1958, Joan Sims was cohabiting with fellow actor Tony Baird. However, after Sims told her parents about living with her partner, they sent her a stern letter, as cohabiting was socially frowned upon at that time. Sims being the dutiful daughter left Baird, but she sadly never found anyone that special in her life again. At one point, Kenneth Williams – a gay man at a time when homosexuality was illegal – offered to marry Sims in a marriage of convenience for both of them. She flatly refused.HATTIE JACQUES
Often cast as the battleaxe or made the butt of the jokes (something in common with many of the parts offered to best friend Joan Sims) Hattie Jacques in real life was a bit of a dark horse.
In the 1950s she was married John Le Mesurier, probably best known for playing Sgt. Arthur Wilson in Dad’s Army (and the narrator of Bod!). She left him to live with a cockney used-car dealer by the name of John Schofield. Unfortunately for Jacques, when she was filming in Rome, Schofield came out to stay and ran off with an Italian heiress. Le Mesurier later remarried, but Jacques remained on good terms with him.
Often cast as the battleaxe or made the butt of the jokes (something in common with many of the parts offered to best friend Joan Sims) Hattie Jacques in real life was a bit of a dark horse.
In the 1950s she was married John Le Mesurier, probably best known for playing Sgt. Arthur Wilson in Dad’s Army (and the narrator of Bod!). She left him to live with a cockney used-car dealer by the name of John Schofield. Unfortunately for Jacques, when she was filming in Rome, Schofield came out to stay and ran off with an Italian heiress. Le Mesurier later remarried, but Jacques remained on good terms with him.
SID JAMES
Before he joined the Carry On team, Sid James had an interesting career and background. Born Solomon Joel Cohen in Johannesburg, South Africa, James worked as worked as a diamond cutter, a hairdresser, a dance tutor and a part-time boxer in fairgrounds, before making a name as a professional actor in Britain after the Second World War.
James would then appear in The Lavender Hill Mob (1951) with Alec Guinness, with fellow Carry On alumni Kenneth Williams in the Hancock’s Half Hour radio show, and heist movie Too Many Crooks with the indomitable Terry Thomas (“What an absolute shower!”).
James’ obsession with Barbara Windsor is legendary. In the 1970s, their affair was well-publicised, at a time when Windsor was married to Ronnie Knight, a friend of the Kray twins. Legend has it one day when James came home, he found that all of his furniture had been rearranged and that Knight had put an axe in his floor...
James died shortly afterwards, but not by Knight’s hands. On 26 April 1976, James suffered a heart attack during the opening night of The Mating Season at the Sunderland Empire Theatre. He was taken to hospital by ambulance, but passed away about an hour later.
It was later rumoured that James’s ghost haunted the dressing room he occupied on the night of his death. The comedian Les Dawson played at the same theatre, but after having ‘an experience’ there, refused to play the venue again. He never revealed why and would not talk on the subject. Incidentally, Dawson died of a heart attack in 1993 aged 62 — the same age, and the same cause of death, as James. Spooky...
Before he joined the Carry On team, Sid James had an interesting career and background. Born Solomon Joel Cohen in Johannesburg, South Africa, James worked as worked as a diamond cutter, a hairdresser, a dance tutor and a part-time boxer in fairgrounds, before making a name as a professional actor in Britain after the Second World War.
James would then appear in The Lavender Hill Mob (1951) with Alec Guinness, with fellow Carry On alumni Kenneth Williams in the Hancock’s Half Hour radio show, and heist movie Too Many Crooks with the indomitable Terry Thomas (“What an absolute shower!”).
James’ obsession with Barbara Windsor is legendary. In the 1970s, their affair was well-publicised, at a time when Windsor was married to Ronnie Knight, a friend of the Kray twins. Legend has it one day when James came home, he found that all of his furniture had been rearranged and that Knight had put an axe in his floor...
James died shortly afterwards, but not by Knight’s hands. On 26 April 1976, James suffered a heart attack during the opening night of The Mating Season at the Sunderland Empire Theatre. He was taken to hospital by ambulance, but passed away about an hour later.
It was later rumoured that James’s ghost haunted the dressing room he occupied on the night of his death. The comedian Les Dawson played at the same theatre, but after having ‘an experience’ there, refused to play the venue again. He never revealed why and would not talk on the subject. Incidentally, Dawson died of a heart attack in 1993 aged 62 — the same age, and the same cause of death, as James. Spooky...
CHARLES HAWTREY
Ever wondered why Charles Hawtrey, the slim actor in glasses who often played effeminate ‘mummy’s boys’ disappeared after Carry on Abroad? He was unceremonially ditched for being drunk all the time and being a disruptive element. Post-Carry On, he went back to performing in theatre briefly, before retiring to Deal in Kent.
A lot of strain was put on him by his mother who suffered senile dementia in later years. Another anecdote recounted by Williams described how his mother’s handbag caught fire when her cigarette ash fell in. Hawtrey, without batting an eyelid, poured a cup of tea into it to put out the flames, snapped the purse shut and continued with his story. His mother would also collect toilet rolls and on another visit to Pinewood Studios, blocked the women’s toilets with paper.
In later years, Hawtrey was involved in a scandal – sleeping with a teenage boy – and in his seventies was suffering from peripheral vascular disease, a condition of the arteries brought on by a lifetime of heavy smoking. He was then told that had to have his legs amputated or he would die soon. Hawtrey said that he would rather die with his boots on. He was buried a few weeks later – no friends or family came for his funeral service...
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Ever wondered why Charles Hawtrey, the slim actor in glasses who often played effeminate ‘mummy’s boys’ disappeared after Carry on Abroad? He was unceremonially ditched for being drunk all the time and being a disruptive element. Post-Carry On, he went back to performing in theatre briefly, before retiring to Deal in Kent.
A lot of strain was put on him by his mother who suffered senile dementia in later years. Another anecdote recounted by Williams described how his mother’s handbag caught fire when her cigarette ash fell in. Hawtrey, without batting an eyelid, poured a cup of tea into it to put out the flames, snapped the purse shut and continued with his story. His mother would also collect toilet rolls and on another visit to Pinewood Studios, blocked the women’s toilets with paper.
In later years, Hawtrey was involved in a scandal – sleeping with a teenage boy – and in his seventies was suffering from peripheral vascular disease, a condition of the arteries brought on by a lifetime of heavy smoking. He was then told that had to have his legs amputated or he would die soon. Hawtrey said that he would rather die with his boots on. He was buried a few weeks later – no friends or family came for his funeral service...
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They’re Not All That...
When I first mentioned to my brother about a section where I could let off steam, he suggested I look at the Family Guy link below and call it ‘What Grinds My Gears’:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PyeRxcRP-wE
If you’ve ever gone to the cinema and had people talking all the way through the movie, you’ll know how irksome it is, especially how (in London anyway) the average price for a ticket is around a tenner. I found this forum thread by accident, but it certainly sums up a lot of the frustration we all feel. Who hasn’t thought “If I wanted a damn commentary, I would have stayed at home and watched a DVD!”
http://digg.com/movies/Why_I_Hate_The_Moviegoing_General_Public?OTC-widget
Ever played the “Bingo” game in Metro or now the defunct London Lite/TheLondonPaper? Certainly last year, there were a handful of celebrities who always appeared in the papers, no matter how trivial: Brad Pit. Angelina Jolie, Jennifer Aniston, Amy Winehouse, Lily Allen, Lewis Hamilton, Nichole Scherzinger, David & Victoria Beckham...
For the past couple of months, Peter Andre and his ex-wife Jordan have dominated the tabloids headlines. Anybody would think that they were royalty or something. In this month’s blog, we’ll be looking at comedians – how many really are funny? Some of them must really have sold their sold to the devil because they are phenomenally successful, but they are as witty as a gnat with a lobotomy.
Some people have a problem with Jim Carrey. I don’t. I just find that his brand of comedy rather hit-and-miss, just like Will Farrell’s. Will and the rest of the cast in Anchorman were brilliant though.
On Mock the Week, the weekly topical comedy show hosted by Dara O’Brien, the only funny people on the programme are Frankie Boyle and Hugh Dennis – the rest are there to make up the numbers. Russell Howard, Michael McIntyre and Andy Parsons are embarrassingly bad. Now that Frankie’s left the show, I reckon the laughs will be few and far between. Other people to make my WTF?! list are Lee Mack, Omid Djalli, Jimmy Carr, Alan Carr and Ruby Wax.
My biggest beef though is with Russell Brand. Those who like him describe him as erudite and intelligent. He may be knowledgeable, but it hasn’t stopped him from acting like a twat in the past. The thing is, he is probably more well known for his public persona, antics and private life than his stand-up routines. In this respect he is comedy’s equivalent of Pete Doherty, who even now is still more famous for taking drugs and his former on-off relationship with Kate Moss than anything with Babyshambles.
I thought I was one of the few people that finds Brand totally unfunny, but there's actually a group on Facebook who are vehemently united in their disdain of him. Whatever your take on this ‘comedian’, he definitely has the Marmite factor – you either love him or hate him. Noticed how he and Amy Winehouse never appear at the same time anywhere? They share the same wig.
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Sitcoms
Okay, on a lighter note what sitcoms do you think are funny? It’s a bit of a minefield, as just like musical preferences, taste is often dictated by the decade you’re born in. The list below represents my favourites, though on a different day I could very easily rearrange the order of the top five:
Only Fools and Horses
Father Ted
Coupling
Spaced
Blackadder (Series 2 and 4)
The Royle Family
Rising Damp
Red Dwarf
The Office
Steptoe and Son
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Good Movies/TV you might have missed
Rather than write reviews for films that are readily available in other magazines and websites, I’m writing about programmes and movies that didn’t necessarily receive the widespread recognition they deserved on their initial release.
House of Games
Studio: MGM Entertainment
Margaret Ford, a psychiatrist and best-selling author is lured into the dark world of the confidence game. Discontented with her own personal life, a patient confides to her during a session that he owes big money to some gamblers. After being told that they’re going to kill her patient if he doesn’t pay, Margaret decides to intervene on his behalf. This takes her to the House of Games, a seedy little dive where she meets Mike, a charismatic con-man who reveals many of the con artist’s tricks of the trade.
David Mamet wrote the screenplay and made his directorial debut with this psychological study of deception, mind games and risk. In some respects, this is the movie that Guy Ritchie tried to make in his Revolver with its pseudo-intellectualisation of ‘the con’, which ended up sounding like post-Matrix cod philosophy.
By the way, if you’ve ever listened to St Etienne’s first album Foxbase Alpha, on the track 'Etienne Gonna Die', all the dialogue excerpts are from the House of Games’ first card game.
See this if you liked: The Grifters (1990), Boiler Room (2000).
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The State Within
Studio: 2 Entertain Video
This mini-series appeared on the BBC in 2006. What sets it apart from other British programmes is its high production values and its topicality. The so-called ‘special relationship’ between Britain and America has had its highs and lows over the past 60 years, and you can imagine from watching this, what was said behind closed doors when the 1956 Suez Crisis took place or closer to home, when the Lockerbie bomber, Abdelbaset al-Megrahi, was released this year.
A British plane crashes in America, sparking off a national emergency and a diplomatic crisis.It emerges the incident was the work of a British suicide bomber. With the ‘special relationship’ between the UK and the US under threat, the British Ambassador, Sir Mark Brydon, manoeuvres American Secretary of Defense, Lynne Warner, into a public show of solidarity. But behind the scenes, tension mounts between the pair.
The ambassador’s right hand man, Nicholas Brocklehurst, accesses surveillance material. It seems to suggest a link between the father of Mark’s friend Caroline Hanley and an order for trigger switches.
The State Within wears its influences on its sleeve. Like The West Wing, it deals with the day-to-day decisions behind the corridors of power. Of course, while programmes and movies that deal with political conspiracies are very much in vogue now, they are nothing new. Back in the 1950 and 1960s, the perceived threat of communism inspired a generation of writers and directors, from Graham Greene’s The Quiet American and The Manchurian Candidate to Kubrick’s Dr. Strangelove to the 007 franchise. Within two months of 9/11, the series 24 was broadcast on Fox. The following year, The Bourne Identity was released, followed by State of Play, the British TV series that spawned the abridged remake this year, just as Channel 4's Traffik engendered Steven Soderbergh's movie with (almost) the same name.
See this if you liked: Traffic (2000), The Quiet American (2002), Syriana (2005), State of Play (2005), Babel(2006).
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Elite Squad
Studio: Optimum Home Entertainment
Like its cousin City of God, the action takes place in Rio De Janeiro. However, instead of focusing on the people who love in the favelas, the movie homes in on the Batalhão de Operações Policiais Especiais - the Special Police Operations Battalion of the Rio de Janeiro Military Police. There we are introduced to Captain Nascimento, who must balance his attempts to find a replacement with becoming a first-time father. We are also introduced to two potential BOPE officers, Neto Gouveia and André Matias, and their experiences revolving the visit of Pope John Paul II to Rio de Janeiro. And while Gouveia is quick on the trigger to maintain order, Matias refuses to compromise his ideals, leading him to make some tough choices.
Ideals in the movie are in short supply. The movie depicts the high levels of corruption eminent in the city. It also shows the drug trafficking militias which have virtual control within the favelas while some police run their criminal enterprises outside. One of the policeman - Matias - who plans on becoming a lawyer, finds himself defending BOPE against allegations of corruption and brutality from the young, rich liberal students, not unlike the character of Dirty Harry during the heyday of the Vietnam War.
When Matias finds out that some of these students are responsible for selling drugs to the poorer areas of Rio, he vents his rage at them and from that time forth, exerts zero tolerance for those breaking the law.
See this if you liked: City of God (2002), Man on Fire (2004), Y Tu Mamá También (2001), Pan’s Labyrinth (2006) and Babel (2006).
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Dollhouse
Studio: 20th Century Fox Television
Be warned. This isn’t your usual Joss Whedon series. While the premise of the programme is vaguely interesting – agents (dolls) whose minds are wiped clean so specialist skills and personalities can be downloaded into their brains – the initial premise was covered 40+ years ago with Gerry Anderson’s Joe 90! Most sci-fi that deals with the human mind often touch on memories – the cornerstone of a person’s personality, of being human. This capacity to import or offload ‘data’ from the human mind blurs the boundaries between artificial intelligence and human beings - something touched upon in Isaac Asimov’s novels and the movie Johnny Mnemonic.
Sadly, the early episodes of the series sort of blur into one. A client has a particular problem or request. ‘Echo’ – one of the dolls – is downloaded with knowledge and personality from one or more people. She does her thing and mission’s accomplished – that’s it. As a subplot, there’s a policeman – playing the token Jack McGee character from The Incredible Hulk TV show – a person obsessed with finding the clandestine project known as the Dollhouse. While other shows like Alias dealt with the friction between the ‘real’ world and that of pseudo-government agencies, and managed to make the audience care what happened to the principal characters, Dollhouse is less successful at this.
Eliza Dushku, the star of the show plays ‘Echo’, her ‘default’ personality, exactly as it should be – placid and emotionless – but this leaves little room for development or interest from the viewer. It is only when ‘Echo’ adopts the persona(s) of other people that Eliza can flex her acting muscles and show her full repertoire.
Normally I like ‘cerebral’ storylines, but not at the cost of having no empathy for the characters, which for more the majority of the time is sadly very much the case. If you do persevere with watching the series, it does become interesting, but not until around the eighth episode. That’s when the ‘doll's’ true memories and personalities start to ‘bleed’ through and there are long-term consequences.
I really wanted to like Dollhouse from the word go, especially as I’m a big fan of Joss Whedon’s previous shows, but this programme has the feel a bowling bowl that has veered too far in one direction and is travelling down the gutters at the side.
See this if you liked: Abre Los Ojos (Open Your Eyes - 1997), Blade Runner (1982), Dreamscape (1984), Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004), Ghost in the Machine (1993), Joe 90 (1968), Johnny Mnemonic (1995), K-Pax (2001), Moon (2009), Quantum Leap (1989), Solaris (2002), Strange Days (1995), The Cell (2000), The Matrix (1999), Total Recall (1990), Vanilla Sky (2001).
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Crossing Over
Studio: Entertainment in Video
This is one of those movies that’s received zero exposure in the UK, but worth checking out. Like Traffic, Crash, and Syriana, Crossing Over is an ensemble piece that looks at the many nationalities that emigrate to America. The director, Wayne Kramer, is a naturalised US citizen – a South African by birth – and like many directors that are not native to the New World, offers an alternative take on US culture.
As you might expect, there is the stereotypical storyline of Mexican immigrants fleeing to California. In this instance, they are tracked by Special Agent Max Brogan (Harrison Ford). Unlike his colleagues, he is sympathetic to Mexicans and other immigrants who he is forced to capture and imprison. Brogan later investigates his Iranian colleague’s sister’s death – who before her untimely end was ostracised by her kin for having an affair with a married man...
Being an Antipodean himself, Kramer introduces aspiring Australian actress Claire Shepard (Alice Eve) who falls victim to sexual blackmail from Cole Frankel (Ray Liotta), a corrupt immigration officer who agrees to fast-track her application for a green card ... in exchange for submitting to his advances. Frankel is married to a very nice immigration attorney, Denise (Ashley Judd), who wants to adopt Alike (no that isn’t a typo, that’s how her name’s spelt!), an African orphan whose parents have died of AIDS.
Gavin Kossekf – Claire’s British confidante who happens to be an atheist – pretends to be a devout Jew so that he can keep his job at a Jewish school and stay in the US. He later undergoes a test to demonstrate his familiarity with the Jewish religion...
Continuing on the subject of religion, Kramer introduces Taslima Jahangir, a 15-year-old girl from Bangladesh, presents a paper at school that puts across the point of view of the 9/11 hijackers. Taslima is reported to the authorities by the school principal, but while no formal charges are immediateky personally it turns out that she and her parents are illegally residing in the US which leads to tough choices ahead for her family...
If there’s one criticism of this film, it’s that it should be longer as the multiple characters and storyline mean only a limited amount of time is allotted for each person. Rumour has it that the film’s producers, Harvey and Bob Weinstein, judiciously edited parts of the movie, so that might be one reason for it.
Ultimately, the main message of the film is that it’s a lottery which immigrants get to stay in the US. The people who do aren’t necessarily those you would think most deserve to stay – and that depending on the circumstances, people can exhibit extraordinary bravery or weakness – a sentiment echoed in Paul Haggis’ Crash.
See this if you liked: 21 Grams (2003), Babel (2006), Crash (2005).
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CD Review: Zero 7 – Yeah Ghost
Before discussing the sound of Zero 7’s fourth album, it’s best to define what it was like previously. Trip-hop, ambient, acid jazz are some of the labels previously thrown about in the media.
When Zero 7 first appeared on the scene in 2001 with Simple Things, they were touted by the critics with their brand of chilled-out electronica, mixed with lush orchestral arrangements and warm female vocals, as “the British Air”. Their second album When It Falls showed them at the height of their powers and proved without a doubt they were more than Gallic copycats.
I have to admit that when I first played Yeah Ghost, I wasn’t that impressed. Zero 7 have always had a changing line-up of singers, but they’ve always had a warm quality, especially from the female vocalists. Sia Fuller – the Australian vocalist who collaborated on the previous three albums was the one note of consistency in Zero 7’s sound – was noticeably absent and sorely missed. This is not to say that none of the tracks are reminiscent of their previous work or that they are without merit.
It occurred to me that as all the original vocalists were gone, Henry Binns and Sam Hardaker – the core members of Zero 7 – weren’t bothering to emulate the ambiance of the previous albums and have deliberately gone in a different direction. Some of the tracks have a minimalist vibe similar to the fusion of trip hop with drum‘n’bass that Manchester duo Lamb made their own, or some of Massive Attack’s pared down tracks on Mezzanine. Judging by this criteria, the album does work and can be enjoyed in that capacity. I suspect that this album will alienate many of their previous fans, interest some others, leaving the rest of us wondering what direction they plan to go in the future.
Star rating: 3/5
Stand-out tracks: Mr McGee, Swing, Pop Art Blue, Sleeper, The Road, All of Us.
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Something old something new? – Star Test
There’s a saying that goes “There’s nothing new under the sun.” On the cinema and television there are countless remakes of movies and programmes from the past 40 years. One programme that seems to have ‘slipped down the back of the sofa’ is Channel 4’s Star Test, which appeared on our screens between 1989 and 1992.
Each week a guest star would be seated directly in front of the camera and talk to it as if this was a computer screen. A list of numbers would appear on screen and the ‘computer’ would then ask whatever random question the guest star had selected. Later, more specific topics would show up on screen for the guest to choose from, and finally the show would finish with the guest having to choose from a list five words which best describe them. What was always interesting was if the guest star chose words that were very different to their public persona.
On YouTube there is a very good spoof of the show by French and Saunders, where they take on Scouse '80s pop singer, Sonia.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fx4G7zLKk10
So what television programme do you think they should repeat or make a new series of?
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These times they are a changin’ – maybe not
During the past couple of days/weeks, the newspapers have been inundated with coverage of ITV’s X-Factor and the controversy over whether John and Edward Grimes (Jedwards) was making a mockery of the programme. To be honest, the plethora of shows where the public vote for their favourites, rather than the merits of the individuals is the stable of UK television.
The rot first set in with Channel 4’s Big Brother where people who were moderately normal were booted out, leaving the antagonistic, dysfunctional housemates to devour each other.
Then came the BBC’s The Weakest Link where contestants who answered the most questions correctly were frequently voted by their less successful contestants – reverse Darwinism at work – and something very British about pulling down anyone who achieves a modicum of success.
Last winter, the controversy surrounding Strictly Come Dancing revolved around political correspondent John Sergeant, who was repeatedly saved from eviction by the public vote, despite coming bottom of the score table.
Judges on the BBC One show criticised the public for keeping Sergeant on the show, and said that what started as a “joke” vote is no longer funny. Personally I think it showed everyone the absurdity of the programme for what it is – a popularity contest.
In the end, Sergeant left the show of his volition, embarrassed by the negative comments made by the judges.
While the media may have exaggerated by saying that more people voted for Big Brother than the general election, the fact that millions of people are m ore bothered about voting for their favourite reality or talent show than voting for untrustworthy MPs across the political spectrum is a sad sign of the times. Back in the 19th Century, the British Establishment was reluctant to grant universal suffrage, for fear that the masses would waste their vote. If they could see foresee what would happen in 21st Century Britain, do you think they would have allowed the Chartist movement to succeed with bringing democracy to the masses?
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The Mad World of Football
How does Alex Ferguson change a light bulb? He holds it in the air, and the world revolves around him. Still, he’s not the only person associate with Manchester Utd who doesn’t know anything about light bulbs. Man Utd defender Patrice Evra once had to ring up the club and get someone to come round and change a light bulb at his house!
Gary Neville: “Did I deserve a red card? I think it should have been a yellow-and-three-quarters! I had no intent.”
Still, Manchester City doesn’t get away scot free. Man City midfielder Stephen Ireland drove a 4x4 with pink alloys – until he realised it looked rubbish.
Arsenal’s Manuel Alumunia became a goalkeeper because he suffered from asthma when he was young, which meant he couldn’t run around with the other kids.
Didier Drogba was nearly kicked out of his first professional club – Le Mans – because he was piling on the pounds by eating only McDonald’s and Mars bars.
Hull boss Phil Brown: “I got one of Diego Maradonna’s shirts in an auction. Maradonna got one of mine in return. I think he wipes his a**e with it.”
Adrian Chiles gets personal on Match of the Day: "Harry Rednob".
Paul Merson on Sunderland v Newcastle: “To be honest, I don’t give a ‘oot about this.” Jeff Stelling: “Well it’s live on Sky Sports so we all give a hoot.”
On Match of the Day, Alan Hansen rouses himself awake just long enough to split hairs: “Some people say they (Arsenal) don’t have a Plan B, I say they don’t have any variation.”
As for what on Earth Rooney and Ronaldo are doing in the picture - some things are best left unsaid! Maybe readers can send me their own funny captions. I'll print them at a later date.
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That about wraps it up for now. Hope you all have a great time over the festive season. See you in the New Year!
MD
When I first mentioned to my brother about a section where I could let off steam, he suggested I look at the Family Guy link below and call it ‘What Grinds My Gears’:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PyeRxcRP-wE
If you’ve ever gone to the cinema and had people talking all the way through the movie, you’ll know how irksome it is, especially how (in London anyway) the average price for a ticket is around a tenner. I found this forum thread by accident, but it certainly sums up a lot of the frustration we all feel. Who hasn’t thought “If I wanted a damn commentary, I would have stayed at home and watched a DVD!”
http://digg.com/movies/Why_I_Hate_The_Moviegoing_General_Public?OTC-widget
Ever played the “Bingo” game in Metro or now the defunct London Lite/TheLondonPaper? Certainly last year, there were a handful of celebrities who always appeared in the papers, no matter how trivial: Brad Pit. Angelina Jolie, Jennifer Aniston, Amy Winehouse, Lily Allen, Lewis Hamilton, Nichole Scherzinger, David & Victoria Beckham...
For the past couple of months, Peter Andre and his ex-wife Jordan have dominated the tabloids headlines. Anybody would think that they were royalty or something. In this month’s blog, we’ll be looking at comedians – how many really are funny? Some of them must really have sold their sold to the devil because they are phenomenally successful, but they are as witty as a gnat with a lobotomy.
Some people have a problem with Jim Carrey. I don’t. I just find that his brand of comedy rather hit-and-miss, just like Will Farrell’s. Will and the rest of the cast in Anchorman were brilliant though.
On Mock the Week, the weekly topical comedy show hosted by Dara O’Brien, the only funny people on the programme are Frankie Boyle and Hugh Dennis – the rest are there to make up the numbers. Russell Howard, Michael McIntyre and Andy Parsons are embarrassingly bad. Now that Frankie’s left the show, I reckon the laughs will be few and far between. Other people to make my WTF?! list are Lee Mack, Omid Djalli, Jimmy Carr, Alan Carr and Ruby Wax.
My biggest beef though is with Russell Brand. Those who like him describe him as erudite and intelligent. He may be knowledgeable, but it hasn’t stopped him from acting like a twat in the past. The thing is, he is probably more well known for his public persona, antics and private life than his stand-up routines. In this respect he is comedy’s equivalent of Pete Doherty, who even now is still more famous for taking drugs and his former on-off relationship with Kate Moss than anything with Babyshambles.
I thought I was one of the few people that finds Brand totally unfunny, but there's actually a group on Facebook who are vehemently united in their disdain of him. Whatever your take on this ‘comedian’, he definitely has the Marmite factor – you either love him or hate him. Noticed how he and Amy Winehouse never appear at the same time anywhere? They share the same wig.
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Sitcoms
Okay, on a lighter note what sitcoms do you think are funny? It’s a bit of a minefield, as just like musical preferences, taste is often dictated by the decade you’re born in. The list below represents my favourites, though on a different day I could very easily rearrange the order of the top five:
Only Fools and Horses
Father Ted
Coupling
Spaced
Blackadder (Series 2 and 4)
The Royle Family
Rising Damp
Red Dwarf
The Office
Steptoe and Son
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Good Movies/TV you might have missed
Rather than write reviews for films that are readily available in other magazines and websites, I’m writing about programmes and movies that didn’t necessarily receive the widespread recognition they deserved on their initial release.
House of Games
Studio: MGM Entertainment
Margaret Ford, a psychiatrist and best-selling author is lured into the dark world of the confidence game. Discontented with her own personal life, a patient confides to her during a session that he owes big money to some gamblers. After being told that they’re going to kill her patient if he doesn’t pay, Margaret decides to intervene on his behalf. This takes her to the House of Games, a seedy little dive where she meets Mike, a charismatic con-man who reveals many of the con artist’s tricks of the trade.
David Mamet wrote the screenplay and made his directorial debut with this psychological study of deception, mind games and risk. In some respects, this is the movie that Guy Ritchie tried to make in his Revolver with its pseudo-intellectualisation of ‘the con’, which ended up sounding like post-Matrix cod philosophy.
By the way, if you’ve ever listened to St Etienne’s first album Foxbase Alpha, on the track 'Etienne Gonna Die', all the dialogue excerpts are from the House of Games’ first card game.
See this if you liked: The Grifters (1990), Boiler Room (2000).
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The State Within
Studio: 2 Entertain Video
This mini-series appeared on the BBC in 2006. What sets it apart from other British programmes is its high production values and its topicality. The so-called ‘special relationship’ between Britain and America has had its highs and lows over the past 60 years, and you can imagine from watching this, what was said behind closed doors when the 1956 Suez Crisis took place or closer to home, when the Lockerbie bomber, Abdelbaset al-Megrahi, was released this year.
A British plane crashes in America, sparking off a national emergency and a diplomatic crisis.It emerges the incident was the work of a British suicide bomber. With the ‘special relationship’ between the UK and the US under threat, the British Ambassador, Sir Mark Brydon, manoeuvres American Secretary of Defense, Lynne Warner, into a public show of solidarity. But behind the scenes, tension mounts between the pair.
The ambassador’s right hand man, Nicholas Brocklehurst, accesses surveillance material. It seems to suggest a link between the father of Mark’s friend Caroline Hanley and an order for trigger switches.
The State Within wears its influences on its sleeve. Like The West Wing, it deals with the day-to-day decisions behind the corridors of power. Of course, while programmes and movies that deal with political conspiracies are very much in vogue now, they are nothing new. Back in the 1950 and 1960s, the perceived threat of communism inspired a generation of writers and directors, from Graham Greene’s The Quiet American and The Manchurian Candidate to Kubrick’s Dr. Strangelove to the 007 franchise. Within two months of 9/11, the series 24 was broadcast on Fox. The following year, The Bourne Identity was released, followed by State of Play, the British TV series that spawned the abridged remake this year, just as Channel 4's Traffik engendered Steven Soderbergh's movie with (almost) the same name.
See this if you liked: Traffic (2000), The Quiet American (2002), Syriana (2005), State of Play (2005), Babel(2006).
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Elite Squad
Studio: Optimum Home Entertainment
Like its cousin City of God, the action takes place in Rio De Janeiro. However, instead of focusing on the people who love in the favelas, the movie homes in on the Batalhão de Operações Policiais Especiais - the Special Police Operations Battalion of the Rio de Janeiro Military Police. There we are introduced to Captain Nascimento, who must balance his attempts to find a replacement with becoming a first-time father. We are also introduced to two potential BOPE officers, Neto Gouveia and André Matias, and their experiences revolving the visit of Pope John Paul II to Rio de Janeiro. And while Gouveia is quick on the trigger to maintain order, Matias refuses to compromise his ideals, leading him to make some tough choices.
Ideals in the movie are in short supply. The movie depicts the high levels of corruption eminent in the city. It also shows the drug trafficking militias which have virtual control within the favelas while some police run their criminal enterprises outside. One of the policeman - Matias - who plans on becoming a lawyer, finds himself defending BOPE against allegations of corruption and brutality from the young, rich liberal students, not unlike the character of Dirty Harry during the heyday of the Vietnam War.
When Matias finds out that some of these students are responsible for selling drugs to the poorer areas of Rio, he vents his rage at them and from that time forth, exerts zero tolerance for those breaking the law.
See this if you liked: City of God (2002), Man on Fire (2004), Y Tu Mamá También (2001), Pan’s Labyrinth (2006) and Babel (2006).
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Dollhouse
Studio: 20th Century Fox Television
Be warned. This isn’t your usual Joss Whedon series. While the premise of the programme is vaguely interesting – agents (dolls) whose minds are wiped clean so specialist skills and personalities can be downloaded into their brains – the initial premise was covered 40+ years ago with Gerry Anderson’s Joe 90! Most sci-fi that deals with the human mind often touch on memories – the cornerstone of a person’s personality, of being human. This capacity to import or offload ‘data’ from the human mind blurs the boundaries between artificial intelligence and human beings - something touched upon in Isaac Asimov’s novels and the movie Johnny Mnemonic.
Sadly, the early episodes of the series sort of blur into one. A client has a particular problem or request. ‘Echo’ – one of the dolls – is downloaded with knowledge and personality from one or more people. She does her thing and mission’s accomplished – that’s it. As a subplot, there’s a policeman – playing the token Jack McGee character from The Incredible Hulk TV show – a person obsessed with finding the clandestine project known as the Dollhouse. While other shows like Alias dealt with the friction between the ‘real’ world and that of pseudo-government agencies, and managed to make the audience care what happened to the principal characters, Dollhouse is less successful at this.
Eliza Dushku, the star of the show plays ‘Echo’, her ‘default’ personality, exactly as it should be – placid and emotionless – but this leaves little room for development or interest from the viewer. It is only when ‘Echo’ adopts the persona(s) of other people that Eliza can flex her acting muscles and show her full repertoire.
Normally I like ‘cerebral’ storylines, but not at the cost of having no empathy for the characters, which for more the majority of the time is sadly very much the case. If you do persevere with watching the series, it does become interesting, but not until around the eighth episode. That’s when the ‘doll's’ true memories and personalities start to ‘bleed’ through and there are long-term consequences.
I really wanted to like Dollhouse from the word go, especially as I’m a big fan of Joss Whedon’s previous shows, but this programme has the feel a bowling bowl that has veered too far in one direction and is travelling down the gutters at the side.
See this if you liked: Abre Los Ojos (Open Your Eyes - 1997), Blade Runner (1982), Dreamscape (1984), Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004), Ghost in the Machine (1993), Joe 90 (1968), Johnny Mnemonic (1995), K-Pax (2001), Moon (2009), Quantum Leap (1989), Solaris (2002), Strange Days (1995), The Cell (2000), The Matrix (1999), Total Recall (1990), Vanilla Sky (2001).
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Crossing Over
Studio: Entertainment in Video
This is one of those movies that’s received zero exposure in the UK, but worth checking out. Like Traffic, Crash, and Syriana, Crossing Over is an ensemble piece that looks at the many nationalities that emigrate to America. The director, Wayne Kramer, is a naturalised US citizen – a South African by birth – and like many directors that are not native to the New World, offers an alternative take on US culture.
As you might expect, there is the stereotypical storyline of Mexican immigrants fleeing to California. In this instance, they are tracked by Special Agent Max Brogan (Harrison Ford). Unlike his colleagues, he is sympathetic to Mexicans and other immigrants who he is forced to capture and imprison. Brogan later investigates his Iranian colleague’s sister’s death – who before her untimely end was ostracised by her kin for having an affair with a married man...
Being an Antipodean himself, Kramer introduces aspiring Australian actress Claire Shepard (Alice Eve) who falls victim to sexual blackmail from Cole Frankel (Ray Liotta), a corrupt immigration officer who agrees to fast-track her application for a green card ... in exchange for submitting to his advances. Frankel is married to a very nice immigration attorney, Denise (Ashley Judd), who wants to adopt Alike (no that isn’t a typo, that’s how her name’s spelt!), an African orphan whose parents have died of AIDS.
Gavin Kossekf – Claire’s British confidante who happens to be an atheist – pretends to be a devout Jew so that he can keep his job at a Jewish school and stay in the US. He later undergoes a test to demonstrate his familiarity with the Jewish religion...
Continuing on the subject of religion, Kramer introduces Taslima Jahangir, a 15-year-old girl from Bangladesh, presents a paper at school that puts across the point of view of the 9/11 hijackers. Taslima is reported to the authorities by the school principal, but while no formal charges are immediateky personally it turns out that she and her parents are illegally residing in the US which leads to tough choices ahead for her family...
If there’s one criticism of this film, it’s that it should be longer as the multiple characters and storyline mean only a limited amount of time is allotted for each person. Rumour has it that the film’s producers, Harvey and Bob Weinstein, judiciously edited parts of the movie, so that might be one reason for it.
Ultimately, the main message of the film is that it’s a lottery which immigrants get to stay in the US. The people who do aren’t necessarily those you would think most deserve to stay – and that depending on the circumstances, people can exhibit extraordinary bravery or weakness – a sentiment echoed in Paul Haggis’ Crash.
See this if you liked: 21 Grams (2003), Babel (2006), Crash (2005).
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CD Review: Zero 7 – Yeah Ghost
Before discussing the sound of Zero 7’s fourth album, it’s best to define what it was like previously. Trip-hop, ambient, acid jazz are some of the labels previously thrown about in the media.
When Zero 7 first appeared on the scene in 2001 with Simple Things, they were touted by the critics with their brand of chilled-out electronica, mixed with lush orchestral arrangements and warm female vocals, as “the British Air”. Their second album When It Falls showed them at the height of their powers and proved without a doubt they were more than Gallic copycats.
I have to admit that when I first played Yeah Ghost, I wasn’t that impressed. Zero 7 have always had a changing line-up of singers, but they’ve always had a warm quality, especially from the female vocalists. Sia Fuller – the Australian vocalist who collaborated on the previous three albums was the one note of consistency in Zero 7’s sound – was noticeably absent and sorely missed. This is not to say that none of the tracks are reminiscent of their previous work or that they are without merit.
It occurred to me that as all the original vocalists were gone, Henry Binns and Sam Hardaker – the core members of Zero 7 – weren’t bothering to emulate the ambiance of the previous albums and have deliberately gone in a different direction. Some of the tracks have a minimalist vibe similar to the fusion of trip hop with drum‘n’bass that Manchester duo Lamb made their own, or some of Massive Attack’s pared down tracks on Mezzanine. Judging by this criteria, the album does work and can be enjoyed in that capacity. I suspect that this album will alienate many of their previous fans, interest some others, leaving the rest of us wondering what direction they plan to go in the future.
Star rating: 3/5
Stand-out tracks: Mr McGee, Swing, Pop Art Blue, Sleeper, The Road, All of Us.
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Something old something new? – Star Test
There’s a saying that goes “There’s nothing new under the sun.” On the cinema and television there are countless remakes of movies and programmes from the past 40 years. One programme that seems to have ‘slipped down the back of the sofa’ is Channel 4’s Star Test, which appeared on our screens between 1989 and 1992.
Each week a guest star would be seated directly in front of the camera and talk to it as if this was a computer screen. A list of numbers would appear on screen and the ‘computer’ would then ask whatever random question the guest star had selected. Later, more specific topics would show up on screen for the guest to choose from, and finally the show would finish with the guest having to choose from a list five words which best describe them. What was always interesting was if the guest star chose words that were very different to their public persona.
On YouTube there is a very good spoof of the show by French and Saunders, where they take on Scouse '80s pop singer, Sonia.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fx4G7zLKk10
So what television programme do you think they should repeat or make a new series of?
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These times they are a changin’ – maybe not
During the past couple of days/weeks, the newspapers have been inundated with coverage of ITV’s X-Factor and the controversy over whether John and Edward Grimes (Jedwards) was making a mockery of the programme. To be honest, the plethora of shows where the public vote for their favourites, rather than the merits of the individuals is the stable of UK television.
The rot first set in with Channel 4’s Big Brother where people who were moderately normal were booted out, leaving the antagonistic, dysfunctional housemates to devour each other.
Then came the BBC’s The Weakest Link where contestants who answered the most questions correctly were frequently voted by their less successful contestants – reverse Darwinism at work – and something very British about pulling down anyone who achieves a modicum of success.
Last winter, the controversy surrounding Strictly Come Dancing revolved around political correspondent John Sergeant, who was repeatedly saved from eviction by the public vote, despite coming bottom of the score table.
Judges on the BBC One show criticised the public for keeping Sergeant on the show, and said that what started as a “joke” vote is no longer funny. Personally I think it showed everyone the absurdity of the programme for what it is – a popularity contest.
In the end, Sergeant left the show of his volition, embarrassed by the negative comments made by the judges.
While the media may have exaggerated by saying that more people voted for Big Brother than the general election, the fact that millions of people are m ore bothered about voting for their favourite reality or talent show than voting for untrustworthy MPs across the political spectrum is a sad sign of the times. Back in the 19th Century, the British Establishment was reluctant to grant universal suffrage, for fear that the masses would waste their vote. If they could see foresee what would happen in 21st Century Britain, do you think they would have allowed the Chartist movement to succeed with bringing democracy to the masses?
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The Mad World of Football
How does Alex Ferguson change a light bulb? He holds it in the air, and the world revolves around him. Still, he’s not the only person associate with Manchester Utd who doesn’t know anything about light bulbs. Man Utd defender Patrice Evra once had to ring up the club and get someone to come round and change a light bulb at his house!
Still, Manchester City doesn’t get away scot free. Man City midfielder Stephen Ireland drove a 4x4 with pink alloys – until he realised it looked rubbish.
Arsenal’s Manuel Alumunia became a goalkeeper because he suffered from asthma when he was young, which meant he couldn’t run around with the other kids.
Didier Drogba was nearly kicked out of his first professional club – Le Mans – because he was piling on the pounds by eating only McDonald’s and Mars bars.
Hull boss Phil Brown: “I got one of Diego Maradonna’s shirts in an auction. Maradonna got one of mine in return. I think he wipes his a**e with it.”
Adrian Chiles gets personal on Match of the Day: "Harry Rednob".
Paul Merson on Sunderland v Newcastle: “To be honest, I don’t give a ‘oot about this.” Jeff Stelling: “Well it’s live on Sky Sports so we all give a hoot.”
On Match of the Day, Alan Hansen rouses himself awake just long enough to split hairs: “Some people say they (Arsenal) don’t have a Plan B, I say they don’t have any variation.”
As for what on Earth Rooney and Ronaldo are doing in the picture - some things are best left unsaid! Maybe readers can send me their own funny captions. I'll print them at a later date.
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That about wraps it up for now. Hope you all have a great time over the festive season. See you in the New Year!
MD
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About Me
- Michael Davis
- Like most Capricorns, Michael doesn’t place much stock in astrology – except on Thursdays. When he’s not writing his magnum opus 'War and Peace 2: Suffering from Writer’s Cramp' or working on his next documentary for the Sundance Film Festival – 'Why Flip Flops Are a Health Hazard' – Michael likes to burst bubble wrap to relax and drink his own body weight in tea. Michael lives in ‘Sarf’ London.
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